RANT TIME: You’re a Weaponizer.

As a man and a nerd, I enjoy things that smash, slash, stab, shoot, ect. Things that can cause bodily harm to others, or zombies, or orcs, or robots..or..whatever. And I believe most women enjoy these things too, even if they’re more quiet about it. Weapons have always been a part of nerd culture regardless of sex..Jedi’s use lightsabers..knights use swords..vikings use axes..blah blah..and of course guns. Guns are definitely more dominant in SL because of the modern warfare surge.

Guns in SL seem to be okay though. It’s hard to go wrong with pointing something and clicking a button and BAM, delicious violence. Most of the guns that I have I enjoy, and have no problems with at all, even freebie ones for christs sake. Still doesn’t change the fact that they’re expensive as hell, but still, its worth the money. Breach is the one gun place I always buy from, they are amazing. On the other hand, we have…*sigh* melee weapons.

Oh goodness. I can understand that it might not be too easy to get good animations for melee weapons because there’s not really any impact in SL animations. But really..and this is to all developers out there..all store owners. There has been so many times where a weapon looks great on the vendor..but there’s NO demo..NO youtube..NO pictures of the animations. There is only one weapon store I know of that gives demos, and one that has Youtube videos out of ALL of SL.

Anyway, my point is, well..it’s like this..you can see a nice car in a lot and go “I want that one” and then you buy it, start it up, and the engine explodes and you die a firey burning DEATH. Well that’s a lil dramatic..but you get my point. There has been countless of times where me and my bro Gornax buy a weapon cause it looks nice, only to have the animations look like we’re having some sort of seizure. The worse part about this is that all of those places have claimed “PROFESSIONAL GRADE CUSTOM ANIMATIONSSSS!” and it ends up being A) Freebie ones or B) Ones used in a template pack. That isn’t being FUCKING CUSTOM! Oh god..I might have to start drinking.

You have no idea, it drives me insane. I mean look at this.

That would be Gornax, and he got that sword because it looked nice and the vendor was saying it has “THE BEST ANIMATIONS CREATED BY A PROFESSIONAL TEAM WITH YEARRRSSS OF EXPERIENCEEEE.” Yeahhh..not really. It looks like he has to take a shit. Who the hell fights like that? Who would even do that stance normally? And the animations for it…one is like he does a ballerina kick when he swings his sword. Like..are you KIDDING ME? I got a spear from Primus, and they do make some nice looking stuff I admit. But oh my lord..what were they thinking? It doesn’t even have a stance animation..and I’m holding it by the butt of the spear the entire time, noob standing. And it doesn’t even say that..they don’t even tell you it doesn’t have a default stance, it doesn’t even say it only has ONE animation, hell..the notecard it gave barely even explains how the damn thing works. Put more damn information on your vendors, PLEASE! I don’t need to waste my damn money on a half assed spear. Phew.

Another thing I cannot stand with weapons, who thought the holding down your mouse button and moving your arrow keys in directions was a good idea? I mean really. It’s so unwieldy. I look like an idiot when I can’t even stand still when I’m trying to swing my weapon. If I’m trying to have an RP battle, I would probably just look like I’m Broadway dancing or some shit. You can’t kill a person with jazz hands! Well..you might be able to but it would be damn hard. There are some places that do lock you in place when you start swinging, those aren’t as bad..but it still is so goofy.

Harbinger & Stormie Designs has it where you just click, thats it..and in my opinion that is sooo much better. Gryphon Lair is another place that makes great weapons. They use the directional thing, but they made it so the animations actually fit the direction you shift towards. Another good place is Robot Academy. The way they did their weapons is like Devil May Cry or God of War. They have a combo system and special attacks and all of that, even aerial attacks for juggling people to a bloody pulp. The only downside to the weapons is..they’re HUGE. So..that’s…three good melee weapon places on SL? Out of the entire population? That’s pretty damn sad.

It’s not just me being picky. When I swing my weapon and it looks like my arm is a wet noodle and I stab myself in the throat, yeah…that’s a problem. Or if I’m using a two handed weapon and I’m doing default noob swings? Wow. *shakes his head* That’s happened to me before..I IMed the owner and gave them a piece of my mind about that. And if you people ever run across a weapon or actually..if you ever run across anything that you dislike..don’t be afraid to IM the owner and bitch them out about it. They need to learn some how..and they need to stop being greedy and putting out overpriced things. *shrugs*

Fight the good fight. Use words as weapons against shitty actual weapons. Creators need to realize they need to give demos of things with animations and things that are heavily scripted, or they at least need to have a video that showcases it. So, spread the world, my brothers and sisters.

LET THE RAGE OF THE TITANS FILL YOU!

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