RANT TIME – SL Men: F*ckin’ shapes, how do they work?

So, back in the late earlies of SL..I used to be a decently buffed out cat man…cause well..there was not much else to be at the time. After that era, I was a small anime-ish elf boy, and then back to a man…and then a woman..and then a man again..and phew..oh god. I’m all over the place. I’ve been different shapes, sizes, genders, races, blah blah. But, it never fails to amuse me when I see guys like this.

Like really, lay off the roids, please. It wouldn’t bother me so much if just a few guys were like this..but this is literally 99% of SL men. And the funny thing is, more often than not..the actual attractive men on SL…are girls IRL. *cackles* It boggles my mind. I’m not sure if I should blame He-Man, or sports, or gamma radiation. These wannabe Hulks usually carry themselves like they’re soooo badass too…like they’re soooo hot and dominant and “GRRRR! ME STRONG MAN! ME HAVE SEXY TIME WITH LADIES!” Hold your horses there, Conan. One of the truest things I think ever said is “It’s not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean.” *nods* You can be a small, skinny man and hold yourself higher than any buffed out meathead out there. And most meatheads are very..very..small inside (their pants.) Ha ha!

So, guys, my brothers, lend me your ears. You don’t have to have huge shoulders and huge muscles and your damn crotch size set to DUFFLEBAG. You don’t have to have a small head either, *whispers* That doesn’t help your brain size. So please..please..go and find someone that can make a good male shape, or buy one, or even take the damn time to look at a picture of a REAL man..and make one yourself.

We men on SL are a rare breed. More often than not when I go to clubs I see about 5 women to every 1 man. The least you guys can do is look presentable, and not like an overstuffed barbarian. *sniffs sharply* And get some better clothes for god’s sake. Good men’s clothing is scarce enough as it is, the market needs to be opened up more. *shakes his head* And you women out there…if your guy looks like an inflatable pool toy..please give him a makeover.

I am all about doing what you want, and living out your fantasy…buuuut..there’s a fine line between fantasy and straight up redonkulous.

Keep strength in your heart, not your muscles.

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31 thoughts on “RANT TIME – SL Men: F*ckin’ shapes, how do they work?

  1. ROFL! That is soooooo great yet so true! Men’s shapes are just *sighs* a shame. You would be amazed at how many men go to women to have their shapes corrected too. *shakes her head* It’s just… wow.

  2. Amen! I’ve always said the size of a male avatar’s muscles is the exact opposite of the size of their RL penises. The bigger the fake muscle, the smaller the real one. :D

  3. Also, most guys have really small legs..so it looks like they’re gorillas. Never ceases to make me giggle. Although, they’re way less cute and awesome than gorillas.

    Thanks for your comments. <3

  4. Pingback: Mandatory Reading for (almost) Every SL Guy!! «

  5. I took the liberty of linking to this post on my blog, this is mandatory reading for almost every SL guy!!
    (and a really good laugh, too)

    xoxo

  6. Sithas makes a sexy dancing Gorilla.
    Also, prim bulges are out there.
    You should see Sithas’ man-thong :)

    • My man thong is quite glorious. ;D

      The dancing gorilla is only for special occasions..you should expect that on our honeymoon, btw. Harhar!

  7. Funny post!:D But mehh if they want to look like this then who cares. Most people look only at their avis 95% at the time anyway.:P

  8. Or there are some that look pretty good all-around, have their fashion & shapes worked out yet still have itty bitty heads… Every time I see one I’m reminded of the voodoo headshrinker in Beetlejuice. XD

    CHeers to all teh sexy men out there~

  9. Sculpted pants bulges exist. I kid you not. I need to ask my partner where he got his pants from. Great rant!!

  10. great post! and I agree with Clem….that need for overcompensation…but at least it helps us weed out the boring ones!

  11. I think the popularity of this type of avatar is only indicative of the massive impact the icon figures of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone had on the psyche of males of the last century, and that, in time, as they work through what it is to be a man in their own minds, their appearance will regain proportionality. Would I have had them choose another personal journey of growth to travel (for this is what sl is for, isn’t it?)? Perhaps, but since I didn’t get to chose my own, how could I ever expect to choose others? At any rate, I wish them God Speed on their explorations, as indeed I do you, as you work out what being an anemic, whip worm-ridden prepubescent means to you. And I wonder… what the world would look like if everyone spent less time worrying about what others were doing, and more time worrying about what they were doing?

    • What is all of this poppycock?

      First off, I think it’s cute that you try to use “big words” in every damn sentence to try and come off as smart. It doesn’t work. Makes you look pretty pompous.

      Second off, opinions, I’ve been on SL for a loooong time. Seeing men look like gorillas personally gets on my nerves, and I have every right to complain about it. Just like you had every right to make your lil comment. Fantasy or not, a world full of body builders is absolutely ridiculous. Unless that’s like..you’re fetish or something…maybe you should watch Dragon Ball Z. *cackles*

      Third off, I write my rants to be FUNNY and hopefully open up a few minds. I think most men on SL don’t realize they CAN be anything they want, I think most of them just follow the damn pack or do what they’re “mistress” tells them to. Nothing wrong with trying to bring realization upon people that don’t know, champ.

      And uhhh..why don’t you put your Eye Size sliders down a bit..anddd your eyes closer together, you look like an alien judging by your blog pics. And your lips smaller a bit..maybe fatten up and get alil shorter, Barbie. That’s probably why you’re so mad, I’m dissing out all your precious lil Ken dolls! See? I can make insults at you too! :D

      Anyways, my sugarkins said it better, and shorter. And “Don’t like my opinion? Don’t reply.” is absolutely true.

      Good day, Barbie. *bows*

    • Speaking of Avatars.

      Let me express more of my opinion :)

      You look like a Na’vi – including the male who posts on your blog.
      Without the blue.

      Look like how you want, but expect criticism.
      I get called a bumble bee ass regularly but my ass still remains FABULOUS.

      If you put shit out, expect to get shit back :)

  12. Ah, an angry person. I know Sithas will come in with a response but I’m the one who accepts the comments.

    I think my SL profile says it the best — “Don’t like my opinion? Don’t reply.”

    You’ll find that, even in Second Life, we’re free to express our personal opinions. Obviously, a fair amount of people around the grid agree that the ridiculous male proportions are far from attractive, is it so much an attack on their psyche or giving them a heads up on getting all the ladies they’re in Second Life to get?

    While we may seemingly “worry” about other people, It’s in our own personal ability to have the gall to tell people out loud what WE find horrendous — we aren’t forcing the grid to comply. If a guy want’s to be a hulk, he can keep doing so but this post was a personal expression that if the Second Life Man wants to be all that he can be in his Second Life, then over compensating is not the way to go.

    So, while you go out of your way to string together some form of incoherent insult (anemic? Hell, I’m anemic in RL and I don’t see how that’s an insult. Being Pale is hot.), just remember that you went out of your way to worry about all these Macho man and this “attack” on their fragile man-egos.

  13. Angry? Oh no, you misunderstand me completely if you think I’m angry. Not at all. I just enjoy making ranters take a deep breath.

    And “anemic” is a descriptive term, not an insult. The author has a very interesting look going there…it may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I support his right to look whatever way he likes with my whole heart. Along with everyone else on sl.

    • You couldn’t make me take a deep breath, even if you tried your hardest, Barbie. The only thing you’ve managed to do is make me :| face and laugh at you.

  14. Aebleskiver’s blog is one of creepiest things I’ve ever seen on the internet… probably only lamprey fingers and SL gorilla men rank higher..

  15. Yes, anything but that awful shape. As I think back some of my best male friends on SL are not even men. They are pumpkins, aliens, clowns, elves, dogs, and even otters. So it not what your stupid shape and tattoos that matter, but the person beyond the avatar.

  16. Look, the simplest thing is — is if you don’t agree, then don’t read it.
    I’m not going to spend my time dealing with some randoms trying to stir up some trouble. Be a pumpkin, I’m usually a faun or succubus 3/4ths of the time — it’s whatever, but usually the men described in this thread are huge douche nozzles. I RPed Gor, and these “stereotype”d men are usually the ones who have no idea whats going on other then they think they’re tough shit.

    This post is a rant and a reality check, not fodder for people looking for some e-attention. You have your own opinions? Write a blog about it :)

    Anyways, BACK TO MY VACATION.

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